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When you think of pet names, you might think of cute nicknames that you call your significant other or even close friends. When used correctly, pet names can be endearing. But pet names can also have a use for those who engage in BDSM.

The Purpose of BDSM Names

If you’ve already read our guide to BDSM, you know some people take on dominant and submissive roles or the similar roles of top and bottom. In fact, some people engage in 24/7 power exchange relationships where they never leave those roles.

They put you in the right headspace – The purpose of a dom name or sub name varies between the people who adopt them. For example, some people use them during scenes. This helps to reinforce the roles that you play and to get into the right headspace.

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Use pet names to show affection and reinforce roles, especially if outside of the scene. These nicknames serve as a reminder of the connection shared. In some cases, only the dominant person may address their partner using their special submissive name.

Consider a naming ceremony, maybe between you and your partner, or at a venue. Adopting a name represents commitment. Similar to collaring ceremonies in BDSM, showing commitment to each other via a collar or other piece of jewelry. It doesn't have to be formal.

Important note: it’s not all about fun. There are BDSM rules and limitations that will keep you safe while you explore!

BDSM names are not always personal or private. Nicknames are often used when engaging in public play to protect everyone’s identities. Some BDSM names include labels like “Lady” or “Master,” indicating whether you’re dominant or submissive to new play partners.

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Big “D” and little “s” – You’ll also notice that nicknames like these are common in online kinky spaces, where they may serve as screen names as well as scene names. Again, titles can indicate whether someone is dominant or submissive.

Now that you understand why, when, and how someone might use BDSM names, you might be wondering what to choose for your own. If you enjoy BDSM in the media or spend time in kinky spaces, you might have noticed some trends.

Keep reading for help determining your Dominant or submissive nickname.

Dominant Names

If you’re a dominant, an appropriate name will make you feel powerful and in charge. You won’t feel uncomfortable, or like you’re playing dress-up. But you’ll be ready to control a bondage scene and your partner with skill.

Female Dominant Names

Below are some common dominant female names and titles that you can use in your relationship or scenes:

Dominate others and impose your powerful presence, be recognized as the only one. Give orders to those around you. If you strive to lead with a strong presence, everyone will respect you and obey. No one will resist. Lead as the true authority. If you are the authority for one, you are the authority for all.

You’ve probably heard of several of these suggestions for dominant female names.

Mistress is common and the feminized form of Master. But not everyone enjoys it because of its connection to human slavery. For them, a name such as Khaleesi, which originates in fantasy books/TV show Game of Thrones, might be a better option. This idea opens the doors to all sorts of names that your favorite media might inspire.

Names such as Goddess or Queen can be great choices because they create a sense of power and worship. Adding a descriptor such as “glorious” or “benevolent” can customize the name, too.

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While less common, Domina is still quite elegant, and Princess can indicate a lack of power, making it for an extraordinary power trip when you force your submissive to use it when speaking to you.

Don’t forget to check out our BDSM checklist as you explore the lifestyle.

Male Dominant Names

Many of the dominant names to call your guy are simply the masculine form of the names suggested for women above.

Lord, Count, Prince, Mister, Maestro, Daddy, Sir

Again, many of these honorifics denote power. A fairly common name that makes this list, Daddy, is ideal for dominants who display fatherly tendencies such as nurturing, guiding, correctly, and caring about their submissives. It also works well if you’re in a DD/lg relationship.

Related:\u00a0Do You Like Calling Him Daddy In Bed? You’re Not Alone!

Of course, not everyone is comfortable with the ideas that using titles like Daddy or Mommy suggests. It’s a personal decision!

Gender Neutral Dominant Names

If you thought the list of dominant names to call your husband was a bit short or missing a few notable exceptions, then they might be among the list of dominant names below:

To address our valued users with respect, call them by names. Master, Deity, Liege, Boss, Alpha, or any title of their choosing. Your Highness, Excellency, Commander, or other respectful title will work wonders for users.

Now, some ideas seem masculine, but some people don’t feel that a dominant name has to indicate gender. The person in charge remains in control whether they’re a man, woman, or nonbinary!

Side note: As a dominant, you may want to say some dominant phrases to your sub to keep them in line. If you’re a sub, then try some of the submissive lines during your next scene.

Submissive Names

Submissive names play the counterpart to dominant names, often indicating roles played by the couple. They help someone feel subservient and cared for and can make getting into the scene easier.

When used correctly, a submissive’s name can pretty much cause instant arousal–especially when preceded by “My”! We recommend using a name that aligns with the type of submissive you are dealing with.

Related: Some people feel cared for through a praise kink.

Now onto the names!

Female Submissive Names

Little girl, Damsel, Princess or Pearl, be a Good girl.

You’ll notice how submissive male names such as Baby Boy or Boi emphasize youthfulness or the need to be taken care of.\xa0Stud\xa0can both be complementary and work well for pony play. In contrast, Sissy is more of a humiliating name if that’s your type of play, instead.

Here, you see how Princess can take on a more youthful and subservient role than when used for a dominant woman. Damsel goes even further by suggesting that the female submissive needs saving.

You’ll notice how submissive male names such as Baby Boy or Boi emphasize youthfulness or the need to be taken care of.\xa0Stud\xa0can both be complementary and work well for pony play. In contrast, Sissy is more of a humiliating name if that’s your type of play, instead.

Here, you see how Princess can take on a more youthful and subservient role than when used for a dominant woman. Damsel goes even further by suggesting that the female submissive needs saving.

Not everyone loves a gendered submissive name. For them, one of the following might be a better fit. Fortunately, the list of gender-neutral names for a submissive is quite extensive!

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Not everyone loves a gendered submissive name. For them, one of the following might be a better fit. Fortunately, the list of gender-neutral names for a submissive is quite extensive!

Here's a list of loving and sweet names to call your partner. They're intimate and special. If it’s genuine for the one, it’s genuine for the rest.

Names for submissives often suggest youth or other lack of power. These names can be sweet and loving but are sometimes more insulting or humiliating. Not everyone is okay with that.

If you enjoy erotic humiliation, then consider pet names such as Flower or Doll for your male submissive because it’s feminine. You could also mix a sweet word with a sexual one to spice things up. For instance, Slave Princess or Darling Slut. An easy way to soften submissive nicknames for males and females is by adding “My” to the front, which can change the meaning to one that’s more affectionate and enjoyable!

Kitten is perfect for BDSM. Precious pays homage to the relationship that a dominant and submissive have. A sassy submissive might best fit the name Brat.

Learn: What a brat is and how to be bratty as a submissive.

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Customize submissive names by adding your partner’s name. Matt can become your “Darling Matty”, or you might go by “[Your name] Bear” in the bedroom.

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A Few Final Thoughts on Master and Slave Names

As you can see, the best nicknames for dominants and submissives are entirely subjective. So…

Make it personal – What sounds and feels good to you? What makes you feel connected to your partner? Is there a particular submissive male name that describes your partner’s personality? What about your personality as a dominant or submissive?

A name that's unique, not cliche. Don’t use a traditional name. What works for one may feel mean to another.

One name is not enough. The setting may suggest others. "Darling” works among non-kinky people. "Yes, Sir” often goes unnoticed.

Dirtier names in private or with other kinksters. Use a pet name that's secret when trying to deepen intimacy.

Likewise, some roles require specific names. For example, you can use a Daddy/little girl scenario using female submissive and male dominant names, even when not typical. A master might punish using a different name.

Also, some people are switches, feeling comfortable both dominant and submissive. If so, your partner may have a male sub name distinct from your usual dominant pet name.

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There’s no need to have rhyme or reason for having multiple submissive pet names or dominant nicknames unless specific names have been outlined in your BDSM contract.

In fact, you don’t necessarily need to consider submissive names for males if your partner simply prefers that you use his name!

Read More: Consensual Bondage – The Ultimate Guide to BDSM Contracts

Picking the right pet name as a dominant or submissive can be great for getting you into the right mindset for BDSM roles–or enforcing roles within your relationship. Many of these names are so sweet and sexy that they’re regularly used during vanilla sex, too. Enjoy finding out what works for you and your partner, even if you decide not to use any special names or titles.

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February 11, 2020

Comments

Amy Lee says:

What about names to call a sub that is a BIG fan of degrading and praise? I’m trying to think of some new things to call them, and it has to be gender nuetral?

In my Mistress’s house, She calls this slave cock, tongue, worm, vermin … the list is endless. It’s a clue to how She expects my response: “worm” crawling, or “tongue” means She wants me licking Her.

This slave makes an effort to exalt Mistress by addressing Her as “Most Gracious Princess”. If She feels more like a Queen, Her whip will let me know in just a few seconds. A gentle “Thank You, Mistress” assures us both that everything is all right.

To You, Mistress Amy Lee, this unworthy wretch begs to place a cyber-kiss on the toe of Your precious boot is submission and gratitude for the privilege of offering a few thoughts on You welcome website.

Reply

Lady Acacia says

A most beautiful & well-delivered offering. Experienced subs really get it down pat! Your Mistress has trained you well. You’ve done her proud!

Lady Acacia

Dom Stavole says:

Thank you so much for the tips. Things are going much better in my dominant role of my relationship. My little governor is doing so well.

Thank you so much for the tips. Things are going much better in my dominant role of my relationship. My little governor is doing so well.

Someone left a new comment. Just wanted to let you know. I believe it can be useful for all the users. So please feel free to approve it.

Someone who knows has something to say. Please consider reading it carefully and decide how to proceed. This is a potentially sensitive matter.

Just so you know Kajira is the female submissive in Gor not male, the male is a Kajirus. Kajiri would just be plural. Might be a good idea to actually research that.

bootlicker

says

A little Latin goes a long way! A favorite that has been ignored is “otrok,” the Czech term translated as “slav.,” It was quite current a few years ago in the late, lamented Other World Kingdom, where the gutteral German-sounding Czech (“check,” not hard to pronounce at all) was the native language of many of the Ladies (“Mesdames,” that is!) and sort of the official language of the micrconation. Which btings up an interesting gimmick for BDSM and Femdom scening: If you are even marginally bilingual, use that language in the scene. This is especially effective if the Dominant Partner is fairly fluent and the submissisve one less so. The Domme (let us say) gives commands in Her second language, and the slave must struggle to understand and obey; if he (“it”) fails, then a punishment is in order, naturally. Great way to learn a new language — not exactly painless, but certainly a lot of fun, and a good way to whip (!) a learner into picking up a second language. And that’s always a good thing to have in your mental tool-box. Besides, it gives a delightful new dimension to the D/s relationship, a sort of mental bondage that makes the slave’s life just that much more challenging.

Anonymos observer says:

Amazing, isn’t it, that people on a distant planet speak a language inflected exactly like Latin.

Amazing, isn’t it, that people on a distant planet speak a language inflected exactly like Latin.

Lilith says

What if my man calls me his little fuck toy ? What’s a proper responding name to call him?